I have to plan each night very carefully to ensure a successful next day.
First if I have to get up on a schedule it means that I have to plan all the things that I do at night to allow me to sleep appropriately so that I can actually wake up on said schedule. And I actually have to perform said items before I forget that I planned them in the first place. I have to take the medication that keeps me from being depressed, the one that allows me to get drowsy, the one that tells my brain to shut up, the one that tells my muscles to relax, the one that tells my pain to stop and the one that tells my sinuses that breathing is a preferred activity.
I usually remember to take my medications before I remember that they do all of the things that they do. Then the clock is ticking, I have to now finish all of my before bed routines before I either collapse because I’m not thinking, relaxed, pain free, breathing and drowsy or before the effect of the chemicals wears off and I’m stuck sitting up trying to read with a tiny book light while gnats focus in on the bulb and look like giant monsters in the pages of my book.
…sleeping may or may not occur…
The alarm of my Blackberry goes off at 8AM, the one I use now because it is the only thing I’ve found so far that actually wakes me up without causing a panic attack which in turn derails any plans I’ve had for the day. I now have to fight the urge to turn it off and ignore it and/or throw the dang thing at the Siamese cat that yowls louder than any fire alarm I’ve ever heard.
I manage to actually exit the bed by 11 after which is not too bad and now I have almost two hours before I have to leave to get my massage (my husband is getting one too so I have to make sure he wakes up).
Now it is up to me to do all the things that are necessary to wake up and be able to stay out of the house for more than 15 minutes. Coffee first, this is a tricky one because I’ve never been good at making coffee so I rely heavily on my wonderful husband to make it in the mornings, good thing he got up at the same time as I did today. Once I have my coffee I might remember all the other things necessary to get out of the house like take a shower, brush my teeth, take more pain meds so that I can actually walk around for a little while.
I don’t see how I can possibly achieve anything else considering what I’ve been through so far.